Film Review: Old ('21, Dir: M. Night Shyamalan)

 

Old (2021)

Written and Directed by M. Night Shyamalan 

Let me get this out of the way right off the bat. I like M. Night Shyamalan a lot. Yes, he's arguably one of the most hit or miss major directors of the last 20 years. Yes, he's made some truly awful movies. But he always takes a big swing, always makes and does exactly what he wants to make, and never apologizes for it. Old is a big swing. Based on the graphic novel Sandcastle, this is unabashedly an M. Night movie. It's perhaps the most M. Night movie he's ever made. It also may be the worst. 

On paper (and it literally started on paper - graphic novel, ya know?) the idea of a beach that causes those who go there to age rapidly is interesting and has the potential to make for good drama and horror. In its best moments, Shyamalan is able to pull the terror out of the ramifications of this mysterious ailment and build tension. M. Night is an incredibly talented director. The use of camera in this film, in particular, is arresting and unique. The craft on display is strong... until it's not. Where M. Night truly fails is as a writer. The dialogue in this film is so oddly stilted and unnatural, the way information is doled out and revealed, the way narrative elements and character beats build feels utterly antithetical to coherent narrative storytelling. Marry this with the level of melodrama and pompousness that M. Night injects into the film's second half and my face was left in a series of increasingly over-the-top contortions, my jaw agape, my eyes wide, thoroughly unable to properly digest what I was viewing. This movie is, forgive my language, fucking nuts. 

I was watching character exchanges, taking in certain imagery, piecing together the whys and the hows and I was left baffled and angry. None of this movie makes sense dramatically or emotionally. The humans don't behave like humans. It's as if there's a bunch of wax figures hanging out and slowly getting older on an admittedly very gorgeous beach. Because of the horrific writing, a cast of very talented actors are left to give performances that are sterile and dull at best and utterly horrific at worst. There are 2 actors in particular who are so bad in this film that I felt personally attacked. 

Okay... let's calm down a bit. I will say this. Because of all of this absurd, awful nonsense, Old is never less than fascinating to watch. It is an experience. If a train somehow mysteriously crashed into the middle of the street and caught fire you wouldn't look away, right? That's Old. It's a disaster on almost every level, with the most smug and self-satisfied ending I've seen in some time, but at least it's never uninteresting? Look, I'm looking for the silver lining here. See it at your own risk. Or don't.